never

i stare at open windows and say
"someday"
unattended ladders too
watching shadows of me perching on public rooftops and running down alley-ways in the dead of night

but someday was last year
or yesterday
last week

it was when no one knew me and I hid behind the people who knew their shortcuts home and their long ways to the mountain

when i hopped in a car and the mocha i grabbed on my way was my only certainty
my clothes stuffed in some bread-rack

i am a stranger
so very never

i wear you all like a string

and i'm only lonely in the back of my mind

almost so very never